does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
