Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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