I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
