i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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