Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
