It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
