Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize