Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
