Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
