idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
