I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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