Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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