what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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