btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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