My hair reeks of homosexuality.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
