Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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