i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
