just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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