i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
