The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
