I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
