I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
