Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
my poor anus
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
