I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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