that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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