Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just made out with a guy for $7.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
