I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
