How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
