I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
