YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize