He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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