There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
