I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
