You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
