You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
