Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
