you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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