Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
