just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize