Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Randomize
