i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
