The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I enjoy the company of your penis
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize