i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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