IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
