Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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