dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
