hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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