Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
