Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
