My room smells like vodka and shame
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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