Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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