Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
