What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
