2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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