I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
