Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
