there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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