That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
My breasts were aching with rage.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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