you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
