smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
