I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
