Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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