google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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